One child is a delight, two are downright crazy! Life changes dramatically when you have a second child and I’m sharing what I’ve experienced in 18 months of parenting two under 4. From the good and the bad, I’m letting you in on the many ups and downs a second baby brings to the mix and I’m not holding anything back! So, what is life like after a second child? 

What’s Life Really Like with a Second Child?

You’ll be very sleepy…. But it seems okay this time. Get ready for sleep deprivation, mama! The good thing is, you will go into this one knowing that it will pass. The newborn – up all night – phase, is a blip in time. It might not seem like it now, but you know that you will sleep again someday. 

You will wonder how two little people are very much alike yet so very different. No two people will ever be the same but siblings are about as close as they come. After you have a second child, you will realize how very different they are from your first. As different as they are, two people cut from the same mold will inevitably have a lot in common. 

Your first born will regress. It’s nearly unavoidable. Depending on the age of your child (my girls are 2.5 years apart) You older child will most likely regress in some way. For some toddlers, it is a sleep regression, for others, it is the pacifier. Many toddlers will have regressions in their behavior and start acting out.  All kids are different but from my personal experience, the regression will start about 2 weeks after baby comes home and last about a month or so. Keep on truckin’ mama. This too shall pass. 

You will wonder what you got yourself into. There are multiple times a day that I ask myself “Self, what have you gotten yourself into?” In the midst of chaos, having a second child can make you feel like you are the ringleader of a mini circus. That is until a child wraps their arms around you and says that three letter phrase. 

You will witness a bond that can’t be broken. The day your first born decides to “accept” the new addition, for the first time, you will experience a whole new layer of love. There is nothing like seeing both of your creations loving up on each other. 

You will realize that even though this isn’t your first rodeo – it so is.. Having a child is one thing. Having a second child is another! Although there are many many similarities and things that are the same when raising your first and second child, it will be wildly different. 

You’ll have to adjust your budget. A second child means more diapers, more food, extra daycare expenses. We are spending roughly $100 or more a week with a second child. 

You will experience some of the best memories of your life. Mama, I encourage you to take a step back and take it all in. As busy moms, we don’t do that enough. Remove yourself for the day-to-day hustle and just admire your children. Burn the shape of their tiny noses into your brain. Take in the way they smell right after a bath. Trace their little hands with your fingers. 

You will realize how fast time passes. Years turn into days and days then turn into minutes after you have a second child. I often stop and ask myself where my baby went. It seems like just yesterday she was a tiny nugget but I just got out her 18-month clothes and realizing how fast time is really passing! I feel like I just packed those clothes away. 

You will do a lot of reflecting. Because time is seeming to go by at lightning speed, you will be spending some time reflecting on your life. At least I did. There were so many times that I just stopped in my tracks, or paused in the mirror and really took in what my life was. How sweet my babies are. How blessed I am. These are the days. 

You will Loose your shit. A lot. Enough said. 

You’ll feel like super mom one minute and holy-cow-when-is-daddy-coming-home the next. Getting both kids down for a nap at the same time, doing the dishes, getting dinner prepped and a few loads of laundry in is no small feat. Fast forward twenty minutes and there’s a dumped snack, a poopy diaper and a screaming toddler having a tantrum in the middle of the kitchen. It’s a freakin’ roller coaster!

You will fall in love all over again. Now, I know you asked yourself this question. “How will I ever love my second child as much as I love my first?” Let me tell you, mama, it happens. The second that slimy little baby makes its entrance you will experience that unmeasurable amount of love all over again. 

Your heart will double in size. Love doesn’t divide, it multiplies. Fascinating, huh? Get ready to experience more of the best feeling in the world, love. 

You will be able to enjoy your baby on a different level than you first. We’re all guilty. Of course, you adored your first child, but the second child is a little different. Different in a way that I can’t really describe. It’s as if there are multiple types of love, that are of course equally strong, but just a different shade of pink.

You’ll accept that some battles aren’t worth fighting. At this point, I feel like us moms just kind of give up a little bit. We pick our battles. Most likely worse has happened, and it’s totally okay that your second child just ate something off of the floor.

Marriage gets hard. Harder than it’s probably ever been before. One day, shortly after our second child was born, a lady that my husband works with stopped him in passing. “How are you and Kristin?” was the first thing she asked. She then explained to my husband that she knows how trying marriage after a second child truly can be and wanted to make sure we were surviving. 

You will realize that your second child filled a place in your heart you didn’t  know was empty. Life with a second child seems like it’s what was meant to be and your life will never be the same. How is that even possible?

How did your life change when you welcomed your second child into the world? Let me know in the comments!

Want to make the transition easier for the big sibling to be? Check out  20 Books to Prepare your Child for a New Sibling.